Pregnancy

Ah, yes, pregnancy what an experience. Currently I’m 7 months along and frankly…well, I thought I’d share my take on some commonly known characteristics.

nexus6 / Free Photos

1)Pregnancy Glow

What they say: Pregnant women have this rosy, nurturing, motherly glow to them.

What they mean: Yeah, try gleam. They have a gleam to them, a nice shiny film on their skin. It’s called oil, hello acne. As for that rosy, patient demeanor attribute that to extra blood (average gain of 4lbs) and the baby kicking your bladder.

2)Mood Swings

Pregnant women will experience mood swings due to fluctuating hormone levels.

Try being flat out bipolar on some days. You’re in control, doing well, then something tweaks that new-found hormonal switch, and you have a personality conflict that could rival Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

3)Emotional

Pregnant women tend to have emotional bouts due to hormonal changes

Waterworks, freaking waterworks. What used to be a roll the eyes situation or brush-it-off-your-shoulder turns into an all out teary-eyed drama. Guess who’s the star? You are sweetie!

4)Heartburn

Due to hormonal changes the little value that separates your esophagus from your stomach relaxes, allowing gastric acids to back up into the esophagus therefore causing a burning sensation.

When the hell did I swallow Mt. Wannahockaloogie (Finding Nemo anyone)? No, seriously it’s like developing a miniature Old Faithful inside your chest, and you don’t want to know the contents that gush up.

5)Bowel Movement Changes

The hormone progesterone relaxes all smooth muscles including the intestines, which can cause changes in bowel movements.

This is true. Enough said.

6)Baby Movement

The baby’s movement feels like flutters, bubbles, popcorn popping.

Until they get older then your whole abdomen moves. Those kicks? Ha, ever watch Alien? Ok it’s not that bad, but it definitely isn’t popcorn popping–not anymore at least. Try she’s practicing for a damned field goal.

7) No Heavy Lifting

Pregnant women shouldn’t lift over 20-25 lbs.

There’s still some debate on this.

8) Sexual Desire

Due to increased blood flow, hormonal changes and the decreased fear of becoming pregnant many women find their sexual desire increases.

Sure after you get over the nausea, vomiting, headaches, nosebleeds, back ache, constricted movement, and the feeling that someone is driving a wedge into your pubic symphysis you may feel horny.

9) Fatigue

Pregnant women will experience fatigue at some point during their pregnancy.

Remember those days where you partied all night, passed out for a hour or not at all, went to work, suffered then went and hung out again? It’s kinda like that except even after you crash for 12 hours guess what? You’re still tired! Yay!

10) Exercise

It’s good for pregnant women to exercise/stretch whether that’s a light routine or a daily walk. (This all depends on your condition and doctor’s recommendation.)

Yes, it is. Makes you feel great if you can resist the sweet, cajoling call of thy couch or bed, and get off you’re ever widening ass.

Feel free to add anything I left out. You don’t have to be female to comment guys have their own pregnancy stories to share (I’ve already heard a few of them).
Photo credit: nexus6 / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

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