When Can She Milk Herself?

I have been attending a child birthing class in order to educate myself. It’s a six week crash course regarding things that you can easily find on the internet. Hence why it’s free, but the experience  is interesting. Nothing  worth noting has happened until recently. The topic? Breastfeeding.

We were sitting comfortably in our slightly padded chairs listening to the instructor rattle off breast pump brands, use, products etc. At the end she asks if there are any questions and of course there is one.

“When she should start milking herself? Can she start now?” A guy asks, his excitement is barely masked. “You know, to figure out what type of pump she’ll like?” He adds in order to bring scientific purpose to his query. Silence.

I’ve my hand over my face trying to hide my smile and not laugh. I quickly get a hold of myself. I don’t want to be rude or embarrass him. I already know what’s going through his mind. Men find boobs fascinating enough, wait ’til liquid starts coming out of them. The result?

The instructor attempts to mask her bemusement but she isn’t an Oscar winner and it shows. Her eyes are blank and her eyebrows twitch as she focuses to find the right words. The guy is not put off and waits patiently, seriously for her reply.

Slowly she states, “no, no I wouldn’t recommend that she start milking now.” Then she nods her head, agreeing with whatever the little voice inside her mind is telling her.  “It would just increase her lactation and may even send her into labor.”

“Oh. Yeah we wouldn’t want that. So we’ll wait to find out.” The guy replies sounding slightly disappointed. Undaunted by the fact that she talked to him like he was an excited schoolboy because at the moment he was, and he wasn’t ashamed.